An Update

Still no baby...

 

Every time I go to the hospital for an appointment, I see a new doctor, with a new opinion. The only thing they all have in common is that they tell me to come back in two days for a possible induction. My blood pressure is still really high, but not high enough to be considered preeclampsia (otherwise known as toxemia). With medication and bed rest, their goal is to keep the baby cooking for at least two more days, while keeping me safe and healthy.

Every two days, I hear the same thing. Every two days, I get my hopes up. At this point, I am trying to stay focused and positive but am feeling extremely anxious to have this baby. 

For the next five weeks, Jordan will be training out in the field for his upcoming deployment, which means there's great chance I could be induced or go into labor without him here. If that were to happen, they would do their best to get him back to base in time for the birth, but as with everything Army involved, there's no promise. The thought of going through this without him makes it really hard to wait "another two days" because I'm never sure if he'll be here or not... which I'm sure does wonders for my blood pressure. Funny how these things seem to work in circles, isn't it?

Please send us plenty of happy thoughts and positive energy- we need all the love we can get!

Journal Page

His Love Radiates

"Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire."-Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

These past ten months have been incredible. I've felt nerves as high as the sky, happiness I never knew existed, love stronger than I've ever read about and pain strong enough to take a life. Through it all, Jordan has been standing right next to me.

When he's away, I can feel his love radiating like the sun's rays stretching ninety-three million miles, through the thickest of clouds, to warm the grass so far beneath it. There has never been a moment, no matter how far the distance between us, that I haven't physically felt his love. When he tells me he loves me more than any man has ever loved, I believe him. To me, Jordan IS love.

I'll always be thankful to him for being my rock, my shoulder, through these tough times. I will forever be grateful. He is, without a doubt, the strongest man I know. It takes a brave soul to endure the things he does. I am a lucky girl to be able to call Jordan my husband. Every day I strive to be half as strong as he is.

I love him with everything I've got, I miss him every single second of each day and dream of kissing his sweet lips each night. 

Self-Encouragement

This morning, I woke up needing a little pep talk. Since I know myself best, I know that sometimes I'm the only one who can get through my own thick skull. The only way out of these mid-deployment slumps, I've learned, is to encourage myself like a coach before a big game. It's a great way to stay positive! Here are some of my self-to-self encouraging words:
Jordan is the reason I'm smiling through this. We're tough like Rocky and Adrien. Absolutely unstoppable. The "A" team. Jordica, for life. No person, deployment or circumstance will ever win. It's us against the world. I love my husband more than any two things on this planet combined. Every single day we spend apart brings us one day closer to the finish line. We're always a little bit closer...
How do you stay focused, positive and encouraged?

The Countdown Begins

Alright, I've given up on trying not to count down... sort of. I'm making a compromise with myself: I'll count down the WEEKS, not the days, until Jordan comes home. Because of OPSEC rules, I can't put exact details online about when my soldier is on the move, so the number of weeks posted will be off by a few days. Each week, I'll upload a new photo of a number, which will represent how many weeks until he comes home. Get excited, people!

[To learn about OPSEC, click here.]

A Few Reasons I Love Jordan

He is my best friend, my alter ego. He's the one I think about each day and dream of every night. He has shown me my true self. He loves me more than anything. He's proud of me. He fights for his country. He's a wonderful man. He respects me. He is a true person. He loves me without even trying. He believes in my talents. He tells me he loves me every chance he gets. He loves to surprise me, even though he's not very good at it. He thinks I'm prettier without make up. He lives every day as if it's his last. He is very forgiving. He's romantic, although he'll never admit it. He always treats me like a queen. He never gives up on me. He's the funniest person on the planet. He holds the key to my heart. He knows almost everything. He sings in the car. He wants to grow old with me. He's an unbelievable lover. He's a wonderful teacher of life. He is affectionate. He has goals in life and continuously works toward them. He gives me anything I ask for and makes sure I have everything I need. He has soft lips and hands. He says the cutest things over and over, and they never get old. He has great family values. He can somehow finish all my sentences. He isn't embarrassed to call me pet names in front of his Army buddies. He has the sexiest arms I've ever seen. He can drink beer like a champ. Those dimples. He knows just what to say when I worry. His favorite food in the entire world is macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up into it. He always remembers the punchline to funny jokes, when I don't. He calls me Baby Bear. He always misses me when he's gone. He looks me in the eyes before he kisses me. He likes his tacos without lettuce, just like I do. He understands my emotions better than even I do, most of the time. He lets me ramble on and on about absolutely nothing, without getting annoyed. He likes my feet. He calls me by my full name. He took the sunglasses off my face, before asking me to marry him. He wiped the tears off my face and kissed my cheeks before kissing goodbye. When I call out, "Babe?" he responds with "Yes, dear?" He has good manners. He says yes sir and yes ma'am. He comes out of the dressing room, posing like the Fonz, when we go shopping at the mall. He makes up drinking games when he's already drunk. He enjoys taking the back roads. He looks SO good in ACUs. He requested my birthday weekend for R&R because he couldn't stand to miss it. He rocks his Rude Fit skinny jeans like nobody's business. He makes every day an adventure. He lets me sleep in, even after he wakes up. He scratches my back while I fall asleep. He's thoughtful. He loves and respects my family. He remembers when I tell him about my plans, and asks about them the next time we talk. He looks good with a baby in his arms. He teaches me new things all the time. He smashes people's sandwiches when they aren't looking and I secretly think it's hilarious- except when it's my own. He makes me laugh on a daily basis. He calls me just to tell me he loves me. He isn't afraid to share his feelings with me. He isn't ashamed to cry in front of me. He's so patient. He's passionate about family. He's a sharp shooter. He's my strength AND my weakness. He loves to cook. He's my hero. He's my stress ball. He's my soul mate. I can be myself around him. I love the way he calls me "baby." He has the sexiest voice. When he says, "I love you," I know he means it every single time. He is the perfect height. He demands respect, without coming off as controlling or conceited. We can talk without speaking. We can glance at each other from across the world and know exactly what the other is thinking. We plan out future together. He always puts me before himself. He isn't afraid to speak his mind. I can turn him on without doing anything. He's a great story teller. He always takes the time to explain what I don't understand, without getting frustrated. Every time he looks at me, my heart skips a beat. He looks at me when he thinks I'm not paying attention. He protects me. He has amazing eyes. He wants to travel. He teases me, even when I get mad. He's a loyal friend. He calls me every single chance he gets. He's adventurous. He's got a huge brain. He has the cutest facial expressions. He takes good care of me. He's strong. He makes my heart melt. He listens to me. He's fun. He is an incredibly honorable man. He's very creative. He is passionate. He's a total mush. He is considerate. He enjoys doing things that make me happy. He isn't afraid to take big risks. He likes to grow. He's absolutely brilliant. He inspires me. He's quite cheeky. He's a dork. He's confident, yet humble. He is a leader. He's a poet. He is an independent thinker. He enjoys trying new things. He is stylish. He has muscular arms. He's macho. He is a great conversationalist. He is sympathetic. He's hot, sexy and handsome. He is thirsty for knowledge. He tells the truth. He loves to snuggle. He's charming and interesting. He doesn't let "no" stop him. He's a huge contribution to my life. He likes to help people. He's unique. He tells me I'm beautiful. He makes me feel special. He thinks up baby names with me, just for fun. His smile makes me melt like a popsicle on the fourth of July. He looks sexy in glasses. He's obsessed with bologna, mountain dew and macaroni and cheese. He wants everything to be perfect for me. He knows and loves everything about me. He trusts me. He tells me I'm "the one," even though we're already married. He would do anything in the world for me. He never gets tired of me being me. He can act like a child, and in the next moment like an adult. He always supports me. He gives me butterflies. He's the one person I can always count on. He means the world to me. He can say "I love you" in German. He's an absolute sports fanatic, in every sense of the word- it's hot. He's the one I look up to. He shares his life with me. He looks me straight in the eyes when he tells me he loves me like he's never loved another person. He gives me confidence. I feel strong in him. He loves my handwriting. He always makes me happy when I'm sad or discouraged. He rocks out to his favorite bands and doesn't care who's watching. He took me from "EFN" to "EFD.' He doesn't get jealous when I hang out with other boys because he knows they don't stand a chance in hell against him. He smiles when he daydreams about our future together. He knows just what to say to get my heart racing. He never forgets to tell me he loves me before he hangs up the phone. He always calls at the perfect time. I can always tell him what's bothering me, without having to be afraid he'll get upset. He tells me when I'm boring him, because sometimes it's a necessity. He loves to relax on Saturday mornings with a bowl of cheerios in front of the TV. He chose me.

These are just some of the reasons I'm in love with my husband, Jordan.

My Own R&R

I spent last week in San Luis Obispo, California, visiting friends and family. I said hello to the ocean, partied like a rock star, and chased a bee down the street, trying to get the perfect photo, probably looking like a maniac. Here are the highlights from my vacation:

I just finished booking Jordan's fight home for post deployment leave. It feels fabulous to finally have a specific date and time to look forward to!