Army Wife

"Define yourself, as a person."

"First and foremost, I'm an ARMY WIFE.."

[the woman then went on to describe other "defining" traits...]

I heard this exchange last night and it got me thinking...

what does the term "army wife" mean?

In its literal form, it means she's married to a Service member. But it seems it's also become somewhat of a codeword or secret handshake to a club, a cookie cutter mold of who you're supposed to be, sometimes even a hopeful queue for sympathy or an invisible trophy.
To another army wife (even one several generations older than myself) I can say, "Yes, I'm an army wife," And they imagine the PCS moves, the deployment worries, the bad FRGs, the lonely nights and even the perks of military life and the amazing friendships we make.
But to the majority of the population, what does it mean? When I asked an unaffiliated civilian man, this is the answer I got:

"It depends on how you use it. Some girls wear it like a rank. You should show commitment to your husband. You're not marrying the military, you're marrying the man. The term army wife can show your dedication and true colors if you wear it the right way. There aren't a lot of women who can do it. It's like the old Navy saying, 'the few and the proud.' That should be said for the wives too."

I'm incredibly proud of the path he's chosen, but his life doesn't define mine. His job may direct our lives, but it doesn't make me who I am. Honestly, his job doesn't even make him who he is. It might dictate his haircut, but not the kind of person he is inside. I didn't marry the uniform (although he looks amazing in them), I married Jordan. The man who makes up silly songs with me and cools his too-hot-burrito by holding out the window while he drives. The man who wrestles with his pets, long after they get annoyed and isn't afraid to kiss his mother in front of his friends. I married the man who MAKES the uniform.